Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Meankitty Wants to Know: Janni Nell

It's another dog-tending author day! Poor Janni Nell. Good books, according to my human, but this awful dog named Vitomus Maximus aka Vito lives at her house! Let's find out more about the human from the dog's perspective...

1) So, your human writes books. Are they (a) full of praise and hyped up lies about dogs; or (b) do they contain interesting stories?
If A, interview is over. If B, you may continue.

[[Note: this question had no answer. Hm!]]

2) If writers are supposed to be so smart, why does your writer have a dog instead of a cat when it's common knowledge cats are better? Does that mean your writer isn't very smart?

Well, puss—you don’t mind if I call you that—my human is allergic to cats. Just like me. Go figure.

3) So why did your human end up a writer instead of an animal sanctuary owner or something like that?

I can only guess that she’d rather be at home with me than out in the real world. Frankly, who wouldn’t want to spend all day with a gorgeous boy like me.

4) Does being a writer mean your human is home all day and easy to access? What is her day like?

Not only is she easy to access but she’s well trained. We go for lots of long walks around the neighbourhood. While I’m having my post walk nap, I allow her to write.

5) As a dog, you're probably not devious or fascinating, but on the off-chance you do have feline traits, what are your techniques for distracting your human during crucial writing moments?

If the ‘nose nudge’ doesn’t work, there’s always the ‘sit and look cute’ or the ‘whine and look neglected’ ploys. One of these usually results in a nice tummy rub.

6) What indignities and neglect have you suffered because of your human's writing career (besides the absence of a cat to properly rule the house)?

Are you kidding? I rule that house. There’s no cat because I make it so.

7) We've established your human doesn't write stories full of hyped up lies about dogs. Tell me about the felines in your human's fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play?

Gee, scratching my head here… My human is a woman of discernment and taste. Nope, no cats in her books. Okay, there was that one cutesy scene, but we don’t talk about that.

8) When your human gets together with other writers do they spend time sniffing each other’s butts?

Of course not, their olfactory system is very primitive compared to a dog’s. They mostly spend time talking and drinking that foul beverage coffee.

9) Tell us, from a dog's POV, about your human’s most recent publication.

It was called Night of the Dark Horse. Horse? Seriously? She couldn’t have used: Night of the Noble Dog or Night of the Scaredy Cat.

10) What is your human's next project (bonus points if you answer: getting a cat)?

You know what you can do with your bonus points. I don’t suck up to cats. My human’s next project is a cozy mystery series. No dogs in it yet, but I’m working on that.

***

Sincerely,

Meankitty & The Human Who Is Thankfully Not Allergic to Cats
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.com

1 comment:

Janni Nell said...

Poor Vito, totally misrepresented by his owner for questionable humour.