Monday, March 03, 2014

Meankitty Wants to Know: Abbott and Costello

ON THE SCENT by author and cat friend Angela Campbell has some humans in it and romance and mystery, but more importantly the protagonists of the book are Abbott (the cat) and Costello (the dog). Well, mostly the cat is important, but the dog plays a significant role in the book too. Today we've interviewed Abbott and Costello about the book, their feelings about the humans in the book, and life in general.

1) Abbott, you're described as furry, black and white. Can we see a photo?

2) Costello, you're described as some kind of mixed breed or a genetic experiment with short legs, a long nose, and golden fur. Can we see a photo?

3) Costello, what is it about human legs that gets you so excited? What was the best humping you got in through the course of this particular book?

Um, I don't know what any of that means. Hey, I saw a squirrel today.

4) Abbott, what do you think of Costello and his odd habit of humping human legs?

He's an idiot. End of story. (licks paw)

5) Abbott, tell me why you and Costello always follow the human, Hannah, around the house now, including when she goes to the bathroom.

You never know when she's going to whip out a can of tuna. Maybe she has tuna stashed in the bathroom. I dunno. Also, I still haven't figured out what humans actually do in bathrooms. It's kind of fascinating--tuna aside. I mean, why do they go and just sit? Why do they take off their body blankets and stand in water? It's kind of like watching a train wreck. You're horrified, but you can't look away.

6) What are the perks of being the richest cat and dog in America?

Costello: Hey, I saw a squirrel today.

Abbott: The only good to come from it so far has been our bodyguard, Zach. Don't get me wrong--he's an idiot--but at least he listens. If I'm feeling a little hungry and there's no food around, all I have to do is threaten to expose some stupid secret of his and, bam, I've got food. Yeah, I have a slave. It's all good.

7) Near the beginning of the book, your human Hannah mentions she hasn't even unpacked. All those unpacked boxes! Abbott, why is she so cruel to you that she won't unpack the boxes for your amusement?

Let's be fair. I have to take some of the blame. Any time a human tortures a cat, it's because the cat hasn't properly trained his humans. Know what I mean? Don't worry. I made sure she knew the boxes were my play castles. I don't expect to have that problem again.

8) The human, Zach, used to be on a reality TV show called The Psychic Detective. What do you two think the best reality TV show would be?

Abbott: Hey, dog. That means what do you want to watch on the big light box that shows moving pictures?
Costello: Oooh! Squirrels.
Abbott: Oh brother. (licks paw) Me? I think it would be cool to have my own reality show. They could call it Keeping Up With Abbott. Maybe I would get more slaves that way. More petting, but not too much petting. More tuna. More naps. For kicks, I'd run off and hide and see if they could keep up with me.

9) Costello, tell me about the obedience classes Hannah thinks she should put you in? Does she really need that much training?

Costello: Um, I don't know what that means.
Abbott: Remember the park? She made you sit for a treat?
Costello: Oh my god, that was torture! I thought she was playing a game. I thought I would starve to death!
Abbott: Let's just skip to the next question. Make it about me. That's just easier.

10) If you two could talk to Angela, what would you tell her about the next book you'd like to be featured in?

Abbott: She just put us through an awful story where the idiot girl who works for Zach came and took care of us while our humans went away. Three weeks without my slave. Can you imagine? I hope she never does that again. We had to wait endlessly to be fed--
Costello: I thought I'd starve to death!
Abbott: And the idiot girl kept staring out the window and talking to us about serial killers and ghosts. (Human Typist's note: That was in SOMETHING WICKED, another Campbell book that is excellent reading.) Sheesh. Humans. What are you gonna do?
Costello: I want to be able to chase squirrels in the next book. And eat them. I'm hungry. Got any food?
Abbott: Tuna?

***

Sincerely,

Meankitty and the Typist
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.om

1 comment:

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

What a great interview! You guys are hilarious. :)