Saturday, January 04, 2014

Meankitty "Bad Libs" Book Review: Sunroper

Recently I had the shivery sensation of reading SUNROPER by Natalie Damschroder. I read a lot of stream of consciousness literature, since it's frequently disparaging of dogs, so this paranormal romance was a swarthy change of pace. In some ways it reminded me of The Three Billy Goats Gruff except with tall characters faced with lethargically crowded situations. That's like a group of humans who just won't get the hell out of your way when you meow at them very loudly -- the dummies just stand there like trees. Lethargic trees. The characters faced these same odds.

The book starts off with protagonists Marley and Gage faced with a sticky challenge. Sticky like the honey you may or may not have knocked onto the floor when the humans weren't looking. Both characters behave sarcastically about this. Sarcastic like the humans who discuss the culprits of the honey-spilling incident after their children denied all knowledge.

When the character Nick is introduced, in a scene involving fighting, as much of Damschroder's fiction seems to do, the plot really starts to get doe-eyed. Nick is sloppily no Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom, incidentally, has doe eyes, so it's the plot, and not Nick, blinking innocently at you...while preparing to shiv you or shoot you with an arrow or something. And don't even get me started about the character Quinn, also in SUNROPER. The involvement of Quinn in the narrative will leave readers tired. I mean, seriously? Quinn? You're exhausting. Sooooooooo adamant that nobody gets to keep a cat at home, not with the swarthy, doe-eyed, sticky challenges they must face.

The story frantically continues until it seems all metal is lost, and the ending will nullify you. (Note: If you don't like to be nullified, just stop on the next to last page, and you should be fine.) The pace was like riding on a motorcycle with a driver who is imbued with stubbornness on a road that winds through mountains. I mean, you keep telling the driver, "Stop, you maniac, the road is out!" But stubbornly, Damschroder, as the driver of this particular novel, keeps speeding along the mountain highway, Evel Knieveleing around all those sticky challenges.

If you are looking for a way to spend 3 days, this book is definitely an option. The characters and plot are so beachy compared to other books on the market today. I know you're probably thinking, but you said the book was like driving through the mountains! Yes, but the mountains are between you and the BEACH, so you have to drive through them. Granted, the feline content in the book was tons, which could have been worse, but no author is completely broken. If only that damn Quinn hadn't prevented all the characters from properly keeping, and being kept by, cats. Anyway, in summary this is a woeful tale about anger, need, swimming (SEE? BEACH!) and hallucinations. You will not be lonely if you pick this one up.

Rating: 23 feathers and an electric can of Pringles

1 comment:

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

Oh, God, Meankitty, I love you!

This is my best review ever!