Gnome Hunting Series: Introduction

With the incipient release of SURVIVAL OF THE FAIREST, I just realized I have a moral obligation to begin educating the public about the dangers of gnomes, particularly to lone humans who smell, act, sound or look like fairies, their favorite food source. Since fairies, while in humanspace, often smell, act, sound and look like humans, you see how this can cause problems.

While the unsuspecting human populace believes gnomes are statues, myths, ornaments--good spirits to guard one's garden or home--unfortunately this is just not the case. The heroine of SOTF, Princess Talista, at one point in the book attempts to explain this to a disbelieving Jake Story: "Gnomes are vicious, and their saliva is venomous. Most spells don’t affect them, except for the ones that freeze them or turn them to stone."

But the belief gnomes are harmless lingers here in humanspace. I mean, fairies keep themselves and their world hidden from humans for safety reasons, so it's not as if most humans know about the other Realm, but still. The gnomes are a part of it that can cross over and do us bodily harm. The attacks, while they don't happen too often, always get blamed on wild animals or hysterical delusion, and not many victims survive to tell the tale. Humans who remain in highly developed and urban areas aren't at risk like those who wander into the green, or brown, or tannish, or whatever color Nature takes when she'd not overwhelmed by concrete and steel.

Here's a short scene that illustrates human ignorance from early in the book when Tali and Jake meet Jake's mother.

****

Jake nudged the car forward and pulled into a driveway. His mother’s home, Tali assumed. It was on a corner, with a bigger lot than most of the other houses. Like the rest, it had pale walls and a darker roof with a freestanding arch near the entryway. Tiny lights and low bushes lined the edges of the walkway to the front door, and the landscaping was…well, it looked lumpy. She thought she saw palm trees.

It was too dark to discern much else. The neighbor’s yard seemed dark and lumpy as well. Tali couldn’t guess what a beautification committee might dislike. In her experience, though, committees always found something to complain about.

She stood beside the car and waited for Jake to grab their possessions out of the trunk. He motioned for her to precede him up the flagstone pathway. As they rounded the curve and reached the arch, the front door opened and warm light poured out.

“Come in, come in!” A round figure with an oddly shaped head motioned for them to come through the doorway. Tali couldn’t make out any features because of the backlight, but the voice was feminine.

She heard Jake sigh behind her. “Hello, Ma.”

The woman moved her arm, and an orange lamp on the front porch flickered on. Tali’s eye dropped to the creature beside the low front steps. A red cap, a white beard and pink cheeks adorned the foot-tall figure, and it stood with a hand raised in greeting.

A hand with ragged nails, Tali noticed. Tiny teeth gleamed between the figure’s lips.
Gnome.

She stopped. Held out an arm. “Get back!”

Jake bumped against her and put a hand on her shoulder to steady them both. It burned through her T-shirt.

Tali’s heartbeat sped up, but not because of Jake’s proximity. Gnomes didn’t live in humanspace. The deviant little creatures dwelled in the Outer Territories of the Realm, ripping up farmer’s crops, terrorizing the livestock, stalking unwary travelers and worse. Much worse. She knew from finding a baby gnome once, a skitter, that they had very sharp teeth. She’d been terrified of them ever since, though in the capital, she wasn’t in danger of raids.

[...snip for length...]

Tali had no wish to see any gnomes, real or otherwise. The Court never mentioned that gnomes existed here. Yet more evidence of their duplicity. She glanced fearfully into the shadowy yard. One of the most infamous gnomish ploys was to imitate a statue so unwary fairies thought the creature had been turned to stone. If a pack chose to strike now, without her magic…

"My dear, the gnome is a spirit of blessing for the home," Jake’s mother said, her voice melodious. "Our home is many times blessed." She opened the door even wider, and Tali jerked her gaze from the yard with its mysterious, dark lumps.

Think, Tali. Gnomes were magical creatures and might not be able to change form in humanspace. More logically, the figure could be a true statue made by Jake’s grandfather. It wouldn’t be the first time humans misinterpreted something Fey. The concept of the gnome as a good spirit must be a lingering fallacy, like fairy wings.

"Of course. A blessing for the home." The beady black eyes of the statue glittered. Tali forced a smile.

****

As Tali discovers, sometimes you have to humor the kinfolk of the man you intend to seduce if you want to impress him.

The gnome Tali saw probably looked a lot like this little guy (click the link...it won't bite, I promise!)

More tomorrow, when I will share the results of a recent gnome hunting expedition in the wilds of Tennessee. Until then, look sharp, and be wary.

JW