13 Characteristics of Evil Wild Gnomes

1) Evil wild gnomes look exactly like harmless gnome statues. In fact, one of their favorite tactics is to imitate a statue and lull unsuspecting victims into a false sense of security.

2) Gnome babies, or skitters, are so cute they're nearly irresistable.

3) Evil wild gnomes have very sharp teeth.

4) Gnome saliva is venemous and caustic, so if the teeth don't get you, the spit might.

5) The favorite food of the evil wild gnome is a fairy. Both fairies and gnomes come from the other Realm, which humans don't realize exists.

6) If evil wild gnomes can't get fairies, they'll settle for cats. When they can catch them.

7) If they can't get cats, they'll settle for humans or other brainless animals. Who are sadly easy to catch.

8) Like crocs and gators in the human world, gnomes often let parts of their meals rot before they chow down. The resultant stench is called 'Fet's Breath', after the fairy's shadow god.

9) Some fairy researchers have theorized that evil wild gnomes also eat magic, but it can't be proven because any gnomes in captivity either disappear or die.

10) Evil wild gnomes will rip up farmer's crops and terrorize livestock in order to incite the farmer to do something foolish, like come after a gnome with a pitchfork or attempt to set traps.

11) In order to topple larger prey or prey in numbers, gnomes have been known to pack up. A particularly large pack of gnomes is known as a swarm. Swarms have been rumored to destroy small outlying villages like, say, the Lost Colony of Roanoke Island.

12) Most spells don't affect evil wild gnomes, so the best defense is to run like crazy and carry a large stick. Or shovel. Or pitchfork. That is, if you're stupid enough to put yourself in a position or location where gnomes can attack you.

13) Evil wild gnomes might wear clothing and do other things associated with sentience, but never, never let that fool you. They're not civilized, they're not harmless, and they ARE out to get you.

Jody W.
http://www.jodywallace.com/
SURVIVAL OF THE FAIREST--Coming 7/15 from Samhain Publishing

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