Help! Cat Won't Do What Humans Want!

A couple months ago, I got an interesting plea for assistance from a human that was stranger than most. Not the human, the plea for assistance. I have had Typing Slave scouring her massive email archives for this file so I could tell everyone about it, and today she found it in the Journal folder. Go figure! The woman is as disorganized as a doghouse. Also, ripe with strep throat, but hey, it just means she's been stationary a lot, a fact I can't complain about.

Anyway, here's the "plea". We are assuming it is authentic:

Hi there, I have a 9 month old kitty cat that we have managed to human toilet train (well almost). He doesn’t seem to have a problem peeing in the toilet, but seems to have an issue pooping. He will go in the basement on the cement floor behind the bar instead. Always in the same spot. I have watched him pee in the toilet several times a day, like it’s nothing. He hops up there does his business and leaves, no problem. But we never seem to catch him in the act of pooping downstairs.

He poops in the toilet if I am home for several days watching his every move and continually place him on the toilet seat. When he digs around the toilet I know he has to go, so if I persist for about half an hour of putting him back on the seat, he will eventually go, not without trying to dig around in the water first. He will not dig afterwards, just before. And by then, I have to wipe the seat every time so he does not slip. Then, when he finally does go, I praise him lots and give him a treat. But the next day when we are not around or in the shower getting ready for work, he leaves a treat in the basement! What are we doing wrong? I don’t want to ruin the fact that he pees in the toilet so gracefully by going back to the litter for the poo. Any suggestions please?!

Thank you,

Jennipurrr and Marley the cat

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So, my divine audience, what is your advice for Jennipurrr and Marley the cat?

Sincerely,
MK