Friday, September 28, 2007

Psychic Submissions for Samhain

From one of my publishers:

Open call for submissions—Samhain Publishing psychic powers anthology for Fall 2008

"I'd like to announce an open call for submissions for a new anthology. This psychic powers anthology will consist of three to four novellas to be released individually as ebooks for release November 2008 and combined into one print title for release November 2009.

I am open to any genre, setting and heat level. But the central premise MUST involve psychic powers. These psychic powers can be underlain by magic or science or both. A few examples would be: telepathy, telekinesis, precognition and mind control. The anthology is certainly not limited to these. Submissions should be 20,000 to 30,000 words in length.

Submissions are open to all authors previously published with Samhain and authors aspiring to publish with Samhain. Submissions must be new material, previously published material will not be considered.

To submit, please include the full manuscript (of 20,000 to 30,000 words) with a comprehensive 2-3 page synopsis. Also include a letter of introduction/query letter and tell me a little about yourself.

Submissions are open until January 13, 2008, and final decision will be made by February 3. Submissions should be sent to editor (at) samhainpublishing.com and please put Psychic Powers Anthology Submission in the subject line.:

Anne Scott, Editor
Samhain Publishing
www.samhainpublishing.com

permission to forward granted

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Grandma Slave is Visiting Us

Grandma Slave is coming to spend the night with us so I can go to parent teacher conferences tomorrow. My first Parent Teacher conferences, to be followed Friday by my first stint volunteering at a PTO event. Luckily Grandma isn't one of those people who comes in and disses the dirt all over your house. On the floors, in the bathrooms, on the furniture, on the kitchen table. We've been down for the snot this week, and there's pretty much a crust on everything. Including us. However, she's also not the kind of person who comes and cleans your house for you. No, that is called a maid, and we can't afford one.

I also plan to use Grandma Slave's presence to get some writing done, if she'll allow it. Which is what makes this post relevant to "writing".

Here's what makes it relevant to cats: it should be interesting to see how Grandma Slave interacts with Meankitty and Big D while she's here. Owing to her hectic jam schedule (by that I mean the jamming she does with her band, not the strawberry jam she makes and freezes), the 6 cats who live at her house, the dog, and an until recently unreliable vehicle, she hasn't been to visit us lately. The cats have fallen into quite the routine with Nanny Slave, with the little tricks they play on her, especially at night. How is Grandma going to react to The One Paw? What about Mad Door Scratching? Do you think she'll appreciate the Midnight Face Inspection? Not that the Party Cats don't have their own nighttime quirks, such as Cat Pan Bingo and Free Range Peeing, but hey -- this is Meankitty we're talking about. She of the Subtle Psychological Torture and Manipulation. I heard a rumor they were adding a chapter of the SOHC handbook on the tactics she has revolutionized.

JW

Monday, September 24, 2007

Housekeeping Tricks for SOHC members

You know, it's not often Typing Slave shifts her lazy self to clean house. Something about the kids just get it dirty again as soon as she turns her back. This has literally happened on more than one occasion -- spend 30 minutes picking up the living room, walk into the kitchen to start dinner, glance into the living room 3 minutes later to see -- you guessed it. A huge mess. She rarely folds the laundry, and when she does, she has to go to great lengths to keep Loud Thing from unfolding it. Heck, it's not often she shifts herself to DO te laundry, so when she does, it's a time to celebrate and party, and not in a Kool and the Gang way.

I love the feel of a pair of clean pants straight out of the dryer, all folded up and ready to be hung in the closet. Food Slave's got more of a selection than Typing Slave because he actually LEAVES the house on a daily basis. All Typing Slave ever seems to put on are nibby t-shirts and sport shorts. Those just don't have the same feel from the cat's perspective.

Big D and I try to encourage TS to be a better housekeeper by offering moral support when she....

Ok, who am I kidding? Big D and I like to get in the WAY.

We like to get our hair all over the clean clothes, and we like to get in big fights in the middle of the stacks of clean laundry. I like to run from the other side of the house and take a flying leap onto the table when the laundry's on it and skid it off onto the floor, where it can fall victim to Loud Thing's drool and food by products. Granted, I'm not doing that here, but shortly after this pic was taken, I did. Isn't it a meow to be all boring whenever the camera comes out and then do the funny stuff as soon as it runs out of batteries? Both of these are bonafide SOHC tactics for driving your humans nuts.

Sincerely,
MK

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

FREE BOOK!

I'm giving away a free book at The Romance Studio, and not much time to win it. I should have posted this last night, but I'm giving away a copy of SUM3 here: http://theromancestudio.com/bad_form.php

You can sign up all day Wednesday and then they do the drawing later.

It's an awesome read, and even more awesome if you get it for free!

JW

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Just the Cats, Jack

We have new cats in my Gallery:

Norma (aka Tiger), Big, Lucifer (3), Io, Holly Beast, and Little Cat.

Go see!

Sincerely,
MK , http://www.meankitty.com/

Pictured: Io, Maxin' and Relaxin'

Friday, September 14, 2007

Big Dummy Friday

While "Big Dummy Friday" is not at all alliterative, I thought I'd take a page out of the Party Cats book and introduce you to one of the Grandma Slave's cats. I hear he's called the "Big Dummy" (aka Sam). I would have to say, based on these photographs, I agree. His posture is classic "Please Rub My Belly" but he doesn't have the attendant "Venus Fly Cat" upraised head and eye contact combination to accompany his blatant plea for rubbings. Adding bunny paws to the whole mess just puts it over the top. Of course if he routinely combines "Please Rub My Belly" with the more SOHC-approved "Venus Fly Cat", I suppose that could be seen as somewhat acceptable. However, I cannot find confirmation that this is the case, so one has to assume his moniker is well earned.

A close up of his face seems to hint at eyes closed in contentment. Respectable fang size but the eyes and the bunny paws together--I don't think so, Big Dummy.

My score on the 1-10 scale of lame, with 10 being a bonafide nicekitty and 1 being a bonafide meankitty: 7

Sincerely,
MK

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Possessed Toy Disturbs Household Residents!

Late at night (or early in the morning) at the Meankitty house, it was dark but not really stormy. Rain pattered gently on the roof. Meankitty and Big D slept on the foot of the big humans' bed, and the humans breathed softly in the quiet of deep sleep.

Suddenly, a shot rang out!

Okay, it was not a shot, it was a goofy, electronic voice saying, "Huh huh huh hello!" (insert vacuum noises) "Nobody cleans better than we do!" (insert vacuum noises) "Whoops...who spilled the beans? Hee hee hee!" (insert vacuum noises) "We're on the scene...to get things clean! Let's clean up this mess!" (insert vacuum noises) "Clean ya later!"

The humans woke, squinting into the dark. "What was that?" I said.

"I don't know," hubby mumbled.

We listened. Nothing. Then the vacuum cleaner started chattering again.

I got out of bed and tracked it down. The cats followed, thinking they might get some food out of the deal.

While we are no strangers to the melodious sounds of electronic toys of all stripes, talking to themselves in rooms where there are no humans, they typically sound off because Meankitty or Big D has activated said toy. However, there were no cats or children anywhere near the vacuum, and it didn't have any other toys resting on it. It stood by itself in the corner of Loud Thing's room, which, might I add, was not particularly dirty at that time. The rest of the house was trashed, but Loud Thing's room stays pretty clean.

Then today as I was having breakfast with the babe, the vacuum cleaner started talking to itself again.

Just look at that face. I don't feel good about this. Too creepy. I have removed the batteries.

JW

Monday, September 10, 2007

The Party Cats Expansion

Well, it looks like we Party Cats are going to be stuck at Grandma Slave's joint longer than we expected. That lazy Nanny Slave is still parking her tuchus here and at Meankitty's house, so we've decided to join ranks with the other felines at the Grandma Slave Enclave. To present a unified meankitty front, you know. Expect an introduction of sorts for each of us over the next week or so. Or not. We are nothing if not unpredictable.
Now, back to our secret plans and clever tricks....

Sophy, Nala, Kenny, Sam, Merri and Gray



Sophy says, "I'm thinking flesh.... Shredding beneath my claws..."

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Another Not-Meankitty Mean Kitty Video

The fact of the matter is, mean kitties are popular even when they're NOT me! We got a head's up about this video this morning, and now we're giving you a head's up. It's PG rated, safe for the kiddies, if you want to share. It's called "The Mean Kitty Song" (alas it was not an ode to me but Sparta the cat does a good job tormenting his human anyway).



While we can't speak for the human of the piece, the cat certainly gets our 5 star vote!

Sincerely,
MK & Big D

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Caption This: Mella

A Meankitty Gallery candidate is waffling on her submission because she can't seem to think of a proper caption for the photo of Mella the Cat. Why Mella is mean, we don't know yet, but here's the photo:

(click for larger version)

So, Meankitty fans -- how would you caption Mella's photo? If we get a good one, we'll use it on the page!

Sincerely,
MK

PS: For more cat photos, check out the Carnival of the Cats every Sunday or thereabouts!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Keyword Searches for Meankitty

Typing Slave was exploring my stats last night to see how many fans I have, and you are many! Beyond that, here are some of the funnier phrases used to find my site on the various search engines:

Random:
how to dance to come on ride the train (The Meankitty dancers are pretty talented, yes?)
foot domination (It's what kitties do with our claws and your feet.)
ruffle noodles (I might eat these if Loud Thing dropped them on the floor.)
clap clap (Yes, applause should frequently greet my endeavors!)
belly punching stories (Just as long as it's not MY belly.)
dog training tobasco and water spray (I like the sound of this! Tobasco that dog!)
advice for husband whose wife caught them looking at porn on the internet (Just....ha!)
dog biting his fur get big holes in it (Dogs are soooooo dumb!)
smacked my hand and vein swelled (I don't know how this relates to my site, but does it matter?)

Cat Oriented:
my cat poops in the sink
my cat keeps carrying socks around
why does my 14 year old cat makes strange growly throat sounds when she eats
what does it mean when my cat swats me in the face with her tail at night
how to make a mean cat nice

Sincerely,
MK

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Human Wants Advice about Poo!

Dear Readers --

We got this following plea for advice a couple weeks ago, and I thought I'd let you all help answer it! I've posted MY advice below the email, but feel free to add your two bits.

***

Dear Meankitty,

My kitten is five months old and whenever he uses the litter box, he does not cover up his poop. He simply scratches around the sides of the litter box leaving the poop completely exposed. Then he just walks out. What is wrong with my kitten and how can I help him?

Sincerely,
Frustrated Owner

***

Dear FO,

Nothing is wrong with your kitten! He thinks his poo smells like roses and wants to share it with you.

Sincerely,
MK

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Promowing

This has nothing to do with the fact DH had to mow the yard this weekend for the first time in a month, due to the fact that it rained. Once.

I have books available for purchase, several under my pen name of Ellie Marvel. I know you know this, and I'm not pushing you to buy them, particularly not if you're just here for the cats. But I do have to do promotional things beyond blogging and websiting. So I signed up with The Romance Studio, sort of an author news clearing house cum chat and review hub. One of the facets of TRS that's consistently listed as a favorite is their book a day give-a-way. Yep, that's right -- they give away a book, usually more than one book, a day.

The anthology I edited, SUM3: The 2006 Zircon Anthology of Speculative Romance, is on the give-away slate for September 19. Here's the TRS page that describes this bountiful function. http://www.theromancestudio.com/bad_form.php I plan to give away a different book each month via TRS until January 2008, which is roughly when my Samhain fantasy romance, A SPELL FOR SUSANNAH, is coming out.

So anyway. Feel free to try to snag a free copy when the time comes. Now back to the cat posts!

Jody W.

PS I also blogged about revising manuscripts that resemble the hack job Pink Thing did on her own hair at: http://paranormalauthors.blogspot.com/2007/09/can-this-book-be-saved.html