Thursday, June 28, 2007

While the Slaves are Away....

I heard a rumor that the slaves were traipsing to Grandma Slave's house for some part of next week. Don't know which part, but I do know that I don't like it. I mean, look at this nibby feline who lives there. Sam. He looks like he goes OUTSIDE a lot. Practically feral.

So I think I'm going to take votes. What should Big D and I do if we, perchance, are alone in the house (or alone with just Food Slave, which I hear is also a possibility)? FS never pays attention to us....just plays poker on the computer all the time.

Here are the possibilities:

1) Pee in the middle of the bed
2) Pee in the middle of Nanny Slave's bed, where it won't be noticed until the next time Nanny Slave comes to visit
3) Puke in various places on the brown carpets and then smoosh it down into the carpet fibers
4) Rip up the pink curtains in Loud Thing's room (there aren't any other curtains in the house, thanks to how much I love to climb them)
5) Knock most of the dry cat food under the dryer after barfing it up so it will rot and smell
6) Smear hair all over the couch cushions
7) Flip all the poo out of the catbox
8) Claw up the armoire and the table legs
9) Steal all Pink Thing's socks and distribute them throughout the house
10) All of the above

What would you add to the list?



Snuggles said...

I feel bad for FS being left alone for the holiday next week. I suggest you and D forget about the list and follow FS around every minute of every day so he doesn't feel alone. Sit on his lap, lay on him or next to him when he reclines, sleep on or next to him he is a sleep, jump on the table and stare at him while he eats. Maybe see if he will rock you to sleep in his arms like he would with loud thing.

Edie said...

Snuggles has good advice. But after reading this post, I'm starting to wonder why I got a cat ... except she's a sweetie.

Lynne Simpson said...

I agree that you and Big D should be sweet to FS while the girls are gone. But the socks... Those might be hard to resist!

Anonymous said...

i think its funny but can you give me advice on a cat that wont meow but instead it starts being sick! i think its because its because it misses our other cat (witch dies 2 weeks ago!!!

Catgirl said...

Your forgetting to poo in various places.