Thursday, June 07, 2007

Snark Me, Will Ya?

I feel compelled to respond to Merri the Rat's response to my previous post. Merri apparently feels the life of an outdoor, near-stray, bird and rodent hunting and eating feline is in some way superior to the life of a pampered, worshipped Meankitty such as myself. I imagine the expression on her insolent, way-too-orange face is much akin to the expression in the included photo.

Here is the text of the comment in question:

I confess Meankitty that I secretly worship you and want to be just like you when I grow up. NOT! You couldn't beat me up even if my front paws were tied together. I'm a young hunter in her prime. The scourge of small animals in my neighborhood. You are a middle aged house cat who looks like she is getting to be as fat as Big D. Plus you let loud thing steal your toys. -- Merri

Ah, young fool. Here is a list of reasons why being in the SOHC (Society of House Cats) is better than being an Outdoor Near Stray (ONS):

1) No worms: http://www.noworms.com/kinds_of_worms.cfm
2) No worms: http://www.noworms.com/kinds_of_worms.cfm
3) Did I mention, no worms? http://www.noworms.com/kinds_of_worms.cfm
(Yes, I am aware they are all the same link.)
4) Aside from rare occurrences when Big D has been possessed by aliens and fleas after his attempt to go ONS, no fleas or ticks, either.
5) Better food, without worms.

Sincerely,
MK

PS Insofar as Loud Thing stealing my toys, do you realize how much NON-WORMY FOOD she drops on the ground? And how much her toys have increased my own collection? She may borrow my toys on occasion, but it's nothing compared to what I do with hers.

3 comments:

Snuggles said...

That wasn't very nice of Merri to say. You are an inspiration and role model to felines everywhere. In fact I truly believe that you are to cats what the Dali Lama is for Buddhists

Edie said...

My Belle's an indoor cat too. The only time she went outside, she hid in the front bushes for an hour. I lured her back into the house with a trail of cat treats.

Rascal said...

Yes, well, worms is a good point. But I do miss being an outdoor Cat.