The Stealth Puke of Joy

I have to give props to the slaves for organizing their house to suit us. This includes the purchasing of earth-toned carpets and other furniture, the better to hide our deposits during fun-filled games of “stealth puking”. Here’s a good example of how well this works. Definitely try this at home!

Typing Slave was having your typical day alone with Loud Thing and Pink Thing. She was ensconced on the couch nursing, unable to respond to any demands except for those of the time and lap hog otherwise known as Loud Thing. So I act like I’m going to eat all the dry food, which of course prompts Big D to eat all the dry food, only he actually EATS it, see, and we all know what that means.

Yep, kakkage.

Now, as aforementioned on this blog, when Big D decides to hurl, he does it with enthusiasm and frequency. 8 or 10 deposits is not unusual for him. He also likes to make a run for the pale carpets in the bedrooms after the first explosion, the better to create lovely artwork in the shade of stain. So there’s TS, nursing and stuck on the couch, and there’s D, beginning his cycle of kak, and there’s Pink Thing, screaming and pointing and running amuck due to the excitement of the kak, and there’s me, on the counter in the superior position, enjoying the ruckus.

TS unlatches Loud Thing, at great pain and expense, and tries to jump up and stop D from decorating the bedroom carpets. She moves too fast and cusses, because her C-section is not healed, so Pink Thing starts asking what that word meant. Repeatedly. The family agreement is that TS is supposed to give herself time out when she cusses, only she can’t right now because she has to slam the bedroom doors and clean up the puke, so she tells PT the word she actually heard was “bucker”, as in, somebody with large teeth, and she’s mistaken about that other word.

While TS is slamming doors, D carefully hacks up some stealth puke on the brown carpet in the kitchen. Actually – half on, half off. Pink Thing, still running amuck, races through the kitchen, slips in the puke, and starts wailing. Loud Thing has actually been wailing since being unlatched from the ninny—did I mention that? TS finishes the doors and attempts to comfort Pink Thing while cleaning up D’s delight and keeping an eye on D to see where he next chooses to delight, since it’s inevitably on the carpet and if you don’t actually see him do it, you won’t be able to find it.

Anyway, she didn’t get it all. Food Slave gets home later and dirties up two pairs of socks finding the last two smears of ick.

Man, I love this job.

MK