How To Respond To Negative Reviews, Take 2

Meankitty does appreciate what is in your heart, scorned writer.

That being said, Meankitty would like you to keep in mind that a book is not a baby, because babies eventually grow up to be two-leggers who can open the fridge for you while books are just things that take a human's attention away from what is important: cats.

Sincerely,
Meankitty & JW
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.com

How To Respond To Negative Reviews, Take 1

Much ado has been made and continues to be made about how artists should or should not respond to reviews of their work. The first artist who responded publicly to a poor review of his work was A. Non, who wrote Beowulf. It is reported that, when criticisms from a particular sect of useless cavedwellers who could barely rub two sticks together to make fire objected to the overuse of the phrase "whale's road", not to mention all that damned alliteration, that Non got all his club waving buddies to go to their cave and trash it. However, as with all reports heard twenty-thousandsth-hand, it's best to take such stories with a grain of salt. Likely the club wavers just said mean stuff from several yards outside the cave.

Anyway, I'm writing today because Meankitty wants to make some helpful suggestions for authors confused by their inner demons, by their friends, by their instincts, by their end stinks, and by conflicting advice as to how to respond to negative reviews. Here is her first suggestion, presented without comment:

Sincerely,

Jody W. & Meankitty
www.jodywallace.com * www.meankitty.com

Meankitty Wants to Know: Cynthia Woolf

Author Cynthia WOOLF (www.cynthiawoolf.com) is our interviewee today, despite the fact that a name like Cynthia BENGAL would probably be a lot cooler and more automatically lucrative. I saw it written somewhere that authors with feline sounding names make 18% more money than authors without feline sounding names and 30% more money than authors with dog sounding names. Where did I see it written? In the rough draft of this blog post! (Pictured: Alfie from www.meankitty.com, a handsome and enthusiastic BENGAL cat.)

Ms. Woolf has a new release involving space pirate about which we offer some helpful advice below.

Despite Ms. Woolf having some obvious handicaps with her name and all, plus a husband who is not fond of the furred kingdom, we did find her an obliging interview victim. Read on!

1) Why did you decide to be a writer instead of a cat sanctuary owner?

Unfortunately I'm not zoned for a cat sanctuary so I had to go with my second choice.

2) Why is your household currently deprived of a cat?

My poor husband is allergic to cats and dogs and guinea pigs, anything with hair/fur. I'm still wondering why he's not allergic to me.

3) Why do you think cats are better than dogs? If you like, you can also tell us how cats are better than roommates, husbands, wives, spouses, etc.

Cats are much better than dogs because they don't need entertaining. Cats are regal, they are quiet, they are small and sleek.

4) Tell me about the felines in your fiction. How often do they appear and how big a part do they play in your narratives?

I don't have any felines in my fiction except a barn cat that has just had eight kittens. Poor mommy.

5) On the off-chance you have yet to incorporate cats into your fiction, when or how do you plan to rectify this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills? Might I suggest a space cat?

I will consider putting a space cat in my current work.

Meankitty's note: OBVIOUSLY a certain heroine in the following book + excerpt is an ode to cats: http://www.cynthiawoolf.com/books-centaurimidnight.php

6) What are your favorite works of fiction or cinema involving cats or favorite fictional cats?

My favorite cat movie is the original That Darn Cat with Haley Mills and Dean Jones. Then there's the Nine Lives of Thomasina.

7) Do you have any amazing, or at least humorous, real life cat stories you'd like to share? Barring cat stories, you may share stories about dogs embarrassing themselves if you like.

My niece had a cat that liked to sleep on her bar stool. But Rascal would forget he was on the stool and stretch, then fall off. It was always a surprise to him.

8) I heard that people who are allergic to cats can still tolerate a weird but wonderful Sphinx kitty. Have you and your hubby looked into getting a Sphinx to rule your house? Don't you think a space cat would look a lot like a Sphinx?

I don't think I could tolerate a Sphinx kitty. I like my kitties to be furry. But I do believe you are correct in that a Sphinx kitty would be perfect as a space kitty.

9) Did you know it's been clinicially proven (by me) that writers with cats make more money and are happier in general? What, in addition to a Sphinx, would make you happier as a writer?

I would love it if everything I wrote was magically perfect the first time and I didn't have to edit it and re-edit and re-edit. Unfortunately, editing is the bane of my existence.

10) How do you think a Sphinx would improve your writing schedule?

I don't know that a Sphinx kitty would improve my writing schedule at all, except that it might make me take more much needed breaks so I could rub its belly and scratch it behind the ears.

***

Below, why don't you all make some suggestions about how cats will evolve in the future and become space cats? Or by "space cats" do you just picture a cat from another dimension or planet who now has interstellar capabilities?

Sincerely,
Meankitty & Typing Slave
www.meankitty.com  * www.jodywallace.com

Snippet Saturday: Friends

Snippet Saturday is the brainchild of author Lauren Dane, wherein a group of authors selects thematic excerpts from their work and shares them on Saturday mornings. This Saturday's snippet is friends. As such, I'm going to post an excerpt about friends FROM a friend of mine, Inez Kelly! That's like twice the friends. Inez is a romance writer, often writing very hot romance, and the excerpt today is from a best friends to lovers story called TURN IT UP.

***

“Charlie, have you ever wondered what might have happened if I wasn’t married when we met?”

She loved his voice, so deep and rich, with just enough silk in it to make her quiver. It carried across the radio waves like water in a brook. Just a word or a phrase in his gilded tone and she wanted to melt like butter in July.

He was the poster child for the All-American classic male. One look told you his life story. Football hero, baseball captain, Young Republican’s Club and med school whiz. He’d married his college sorority-sweetheart and set out to live the picture-perfect life.

But nobody was perfect and dreams crumbled. Charlie had been there when his did and helped him hold it together. That was what a friend did. That and they never crossed that invisible boundary.

Had she wondered what might have happened if he’d been single? No, she’d always known.

“It’s pretty easy to figure out. We’d have become sizzling hot but temporary lovers and missed out on something really great. The chemistry’s always been there. But lovers are a dime a dozen. Friends that last are priceless.”

“Maybe we would’ve been different.”

Jazz. His voice was jazz, invoking images of steamy nights, moist skin and rolling hips. Had she fantasized about him? Hell, yeah. Long ago she’d trained herself to stop actively imagining his hands on her bare skin or his mouth pressed to hers. Snippets and flashes snuck in, of course, but she always shrugged them off. Being his lifelong friend meant more to her than getting naked and sweaty for a while.

Bastian wanted a woman forever. It was in his makeup, his genes. Charlie didn’t do forever where men were concerned.

She preferred hard, intense sex and lots of it. Sex had intrigued her from her first time with Bobby Mason in his father’s Ford. It lacked everything she’d thought it would be. So she set out to discover why. What she’d learned fascinated her, empowered her, awed her. Sex made the world go ‘round, and Charlie absorbed every facet. Sex was fun. It was exhilarating. It was temporary.

Her best friend was permanent.

“What might have been doesn’t matter now. You were married and off-limits so we became friends instead. Besides, you mean more to me than any sexual fling ever could. You’re my best friend, the best friend I’ve ever had. That’s harder to find than any piece of ass. I love you, Bastian.”

Lines crinkled around his eyes with his gentle smile. She’d never said these words aloud but knew he knew them. She knew she meant the same to him. They were rare and nothing could make her risk that. But still, a girl could fantasize. In color.

When he jerked his head, a silent invitation to join him, she leaped up and threw herself in his arms. Bastian gave the best hugs. Not wimpy and soft as if she’d break or hard and crushing like she was a grape to be squished. He never tried to cop a feel or worried if he brushed her breasts. He just hugged her. It was one of her favorite things about him.

His lips skimmed her brow, just enough to let her know he loved her back.

You can find TURN IT UP for sale at:

Carina Press
Amazon
Barnes&Noble
***

Jody W.
www.jodywallace.com  * www.meankitty.com

MORE FRIENDLINESS:

Megan Hart -- Read in bed!
Eliza Gayle
Rhian Cahill
Anne Rainey
Lissa Matthews
Mari Carr
McKenna Jeffries
Myla Jackson
Taige Crenshaw
Alison Kent
Delilah Devlin
HelenKay Dimon
Leah Braemel
Shelli Stevens
Shiloh Walker
TJ Michaels
Zoë Archer
Lacey Savage

Free Story, Unexpectedly

So, with this indie publishing thing I've been doing, a writer can sometimes get his or her story offered for free at places like Amazon or B&N various ways. I won't go into the boring details right now, but it's not always something we can control or predict. I just logged onto my Amazon account and found out A Wintertide Spell is now free: http://www.amazon.com/A-Wintertide-Spell-ebook/dp/B0068OMOJW/ if you are a Kindle reader. It's free in all formats at Smashwords and has been for a long time: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/105613.

At B&N it still costs a buck. I think it's probably free at places like iBooks and Kobo, because Smashwords distributes there.

But it did give me the big-eye to log onto my Amazon account in the publisher area and see that I'd had over a thousand downloads of something! So far it doesn't seem to be translating to any paid sales, but you never know.

Jody W.
www.jodywallace.com * www.meankitty.com

Pack and Coven Cover & Review Copies

I have received the beautifully blue cover for my upcoming February release from Carina, Pack and Coven, which is about witches, werewolves and West Virginia:

Harry turned out delightfully scruffy, don't you think? Granted, Meankitty is still upset that it's a book about dogs and that -- WORSE -- there are dogs on the cover, but she had an entire book dedicated to her and I'm sure there will be others in the future.

I also found out that it is now available for Netgalley reviewers from now (January) until March 8 or so: http://netgalley.com/index2.php?module=catalog&genre=&type=4&txt=Carina



If you want to review it and aren't a Netgallier, you can contact me or, I presume, Carina Press: http://carinapress.com/blog/faq/#16 (who says you either use Netgalley or contact the person listed on that page).

Jody W.
www.jodywallace.com * www.meankitty.com

Meankitty Wants to Know: Stephanie Queen

Romance author Stephanie Queen (www.stephaniequeen.com) is owned by a cat named Kitty, who, as you will see below, often has a hard time keeping her human in touch with reality...that reality being KITTY COMES FIRST. This is properly illustrated in the photo to the left.

1) So, your human writes books. Does this mean he or she is home all day and easy to access? Elaborate if necessary.

My human, Stephanie Queen (ha!) (SQ to me) is theoretically at home all day. But a lot of the time she’s out to lunch--if you catch my drift. Let me spell it out. I don’t mean she’s necessarily out at a restaurant eating lunch with friends like a normal human, unless you count imaginary friends at the imaginary restaurant hidden inside her scatterbrained head.

2) What are your techniques for distracting your human during crucial writing moments, just because it's fun?

Since she’s so often got that vacant look on her face like there’s no one in residence and who knows what plot she’s dreaming up, I resort to a very direct approach. I leap from the floor directly onto the keyboard in front of her. This has the desired effect of returning SQ to the here-and-now with a high-pitched action packed response.

Kitty warning: Only risk this move when you don’t mind taking a short flight through the air.

3) What indignities and neglect have you suffered because of your human's writing career?

I’m not neglected nearly as much as the cooking [see technique above]. Do you know how many pans she’s burned when she's tried to cook and write at the same time? I’m telling all my cat friends to by stock in Calphalon.

4) What works of fiction or cinema involving cats does your human enjoy sharing with you?

We love Honey West--the old TV series about a purrty private detective with a sexy mole and a Cheshire smile who’s sidekick is a very handsome Big Cat. Tough to come across re-runs. Maybe I can get SQ to write a mystery series along the same line. We’ll call it “Kitty West”.

5) If you could tell your human one thing, what would it be?

I’d tell her if she’s going to be queen--even if she’s only queen of her own imagination--she needs better digs. She needs to move us into a castle. Or at least a big house with lots of mice. Same thing.

*

So, if any of you have any suggestions for how Kitty can encourage Ms. Queen to write that series about a feline detective, let her know in the comments! While there are politicians, detectives, interior decorators and athletes between the pages of Ms. Queen's fiction, there seems to be a decided paucity of starring roles for cats.

Sincerely,
Meankitty & Typing Slave
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.com

Snippet Saturday: Setting as Character

Snippet Saturday is the brainchild of author Lauren Dane, wherein a group of authors selects thematic excerpts from their work and shares them on Saturday mornings. This Saturday's snippet is setting as character. I had a number of stories where the setting plays such a vital role in the story it might as well be a character, but perhaps the one in which the setting practically DRIVES the entire story is CLAUSTROPHOBIC CHRISTMAS and its ice-induced traffic jam on the interstate. Here's the moment where our heroine realizes the traffic jam is, indeed, a jam:

The truck in front of her groaned and cranked. Its taillights and brakes flickered off with a long, exhausted hiss. All around her, vehicles followed his example, headlights disappearing from her rearview mirrors.

They were giving up? But they’d only been here a few minutes! They could break free any second. Darcy tap-tap-tapped the steering wheel, faster and faster, until she caved to peer pressure and flicked off her headlamps. It was probably a mistake. She needed to be ready. If they idled much longer, it could get nasty. It was cold out there, and getting colder. Snow covered the cars, the road, the fields. Was James stuck? She reached for her phone, charging in the console, to text him, but he might not welcome any personal back and forth.

When she heard a door slam, just as he’d predicted, she twisted around to see what was going on.

There were still enough headlights for her to make out the man from the SUV tugging a large, shaggy dog on a leash. They cut in front of her to the roadside. The human hunched miserably against the wind as the dog cavorted in the possibly record snowfall.

So many tires to pee on, so little time.

Darcy had half a tank of gas, ice on the windshield despite the defrost, and cars, trucks, families and dogs all around her in the same predicament. She was hemmed in by vehicles, by snow, by circumstance. Trapped in one spot with no way out. The sky had darkened, the stars invisible through precipitation and clouds.

Pop was going to have a cow.

She was going to have a coronary.

She could take a pill. Should she? Better not. Any minute now, they’d be driving.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Ice and sleet. Snowing and blowing.

What could she do? The lifeless fields on either side were unbroken by exits or secondary roads. The man and dog got back into the SUV. Exhaust fumes puffed from tailpipes all around, but her tips for stranded travelers—yep, she’d researched this too—advised erring on the side of caution. How long would she be marooned if she ran out of gas?

She didn’t have babies to keep warm. She shut off the motor and thought of James again. Thanks to him, she hadn't had a drop to drink since the rest area. She was doing well on that front. Yet as soon as she thought of it, the need to wet her whistle smacked into her like the need to admire James’s backside earlier, too fierce to ignore.

An hour of blasting the heater into her face came to a crux, and she could swear she felt her lips crack. Droplets of melt water trickled down the windshield. All that icy goodness going to waste. Darcy licked her lips and gazed at the tasty rivulets. The cola she'd purchased at the rest area beckoned from the small cooler in the floor of the passenger's seat.

Candy. James had said to suck on hard candy. Her homemade peppermint bark was in the trunk, but if she were parked here in five, no, ten minutes, she'd open the jelly beans she’d purchased for Pop’s stocking. She could always claim Santa got noshy.

Two arid minutes later, she flicked on the interior light and leaned through the bucket seats to paw through the gifts in back. Jelly beans, jelly beans, jelly beans. Gotcha! She unwrapped the flat box, saving the paper, and opened the lid. A smorgasbord of colors and flavors met her eyes.

Cantaloupe. Kiwi fruit. Cappuccino. She squinted at the tiny labels. Was there a water flavor? How about a wide open spaces flavor? Doors slammed nearby, but the jellies were more compelling than whoever had braved the blizzard to pee.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Something rapped her window, and it wasn’t ice.

Darcy shrieked and tossed the box into the air. Candies flew all over the car; a few stuck in her frizzy hair and rolled down the front of her raggedy sweatshirt.

It was James Jones, bending down to peer into the window at Darcy and her lapful of jelly beans.

***

Hey, maybe it's no longer strictly in season, but it's still a fun story! You can find the rest of Claustrophobic Christmas here:

Places you can buy Claustrophobic Christmas:

All Romance Ebooks
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Books on Board
Lybrary.com
Mobipocket
Samhain
Sony

Jody W.
www.jodywallace.com  * www.meankitty.com  

Here are some more excerpts in which the setting takes on a life of its own:

Megan Hart -- Read in bed!
Eliza Gayle
Rhian Cahill
Lissa Matthews
Mari Carr
McKenna Jeffries
Myla Jackson
Taige Crenshaw
Alison Kent
Delilah Devlin
HelenKay Dimon
Shelli Stevens
Shiloh Walker
Zoë Archer

Meankitty Wants to Know: Jenna Ives

This Monday, after another hiatus of several Mondays, I have interviewed author Jenna Ives. Jenna apparently knows Typing Slave through a mutual publisher. She (Jenna) writes stories that sometimes involve string, with which the humans tie each other up -- yeah, I have no idea either. But string I like. Her latest release is a new version of a fairy tale about a snowy, white heroine who, in the original tale, falsely claimed to be "fairest of them all", when clearly it's me. It's not like that Snow White character had beautifully perfect white paws, mesmerizing golden eyes, and fur as soft as the human brain.

***

1) Why did you decide to be a writer instead of a cat sanctuary owner?

I was the oldest kid in my family growing up, so I always used to tell stories to entertain my younger brothers and sister. Even after I grew up, the stories just kept coming!

2) Why do you think cats are better than dogs? (Since you call yourself a writer, I trust your answer will be eloquent.)

Cats are highly intelligent; dogs are blindly loyal. Cats are discriminating; dogs like everyone. Your choice in pets all depends on how you prefer to be loved.

3) Why is your household currently deprived of a cat?

Because I’m afraid a cat would eat my beta fighting fish, Rudy.

4) How does your beta fighting fish inspire your writing?

He’s definitely a strong alpha male! And the seven heroes of my Snow White And Her Seven Lovers all share a part of Rudy’s strength.

5) If you have not yet incorporated cats into your fiction, when or how do you plan to rectify this egregious error and demonstration of poor writing skills?

My next story will be an Egyptian romance. Cats were very important to the Egyptians!

6) What are your favorite works of fiction or cinema involving cats or favorite fictional cats?

I’m a huge classic movie fan, so would the leopard Baby in the Katharine Hepburn movie “Bringing Up Baby” count? Technically, a leopard is a cat, right? There’s also Cat, Audrey Hepburn’s cat from “Breakfast At Tiffany’s.”

7) If you were going to publish a new, improved version of your sexy fairy tale, Snow White and Her Seven Lovers, how would you add a feline as a main character?

Well, my heroine Snow White has lost her memory, so if she had a cat, I’m sure it would be a big clue to help her discover her identity.

8) Do you like tuna (for eating, not as a pet)? How many beta fish would it take to make a nice-sized four ounce entree or would they have too many bones to bother with?

I like my tuna fish with mayo and raw onions, but it’s a treat you have to eat alone (or with a Tic Tacs chaser)! As far as an entrée for a cat, well, Rudy is kinda hefty, so I’d say two.

9) Did you know it's been clinicially proven (by me) that writers with cats make more money and are happier in general?

Happier, I believe it! After all, who wouldn’t be happy stroking all that silky, lush, luxurious chest hair, um, I mean fur?

10) Do you plan to write your version of Puss in Boots next? Or what about The White Cat? Those would sell like tunacakes. If those are not your plans for your next book, what DO you plan to write next, and do you promise not to put any dogs in it?

Since I’ve done with a Snow White fairy tale, I’m thinking next might be a sexy version of Beauty And The Beast...and you’ve got me thinking now about how I could make the beast some kind of cat. Hmm...shape shifter, perhaps? Check out www.jennaives.com to see what I come up with!

Thanks for letting me stop by today, Meankitty!!

***

And thanks to all the humans who stopped by today. Please let Jenna know in the comments what fairy tale she should probably rewrite next!

Sincerely,
Meankitty & Typing Slave
www.meankitty.com * www.jodywallace.com

Snippet Saturday: Fears

Happy Winter Holidays, all! Snippet Saturday is the brainchild of author Lauren Dane, wherein a group of authors selects thematic excerpts from their work and shares them on Saturday mornings. This Saturday's snippet is fears. In Pack and Coven, due out in February, our heroine June is definitely worried and afraid about what consequences her rather reckless actions are going to incur... Sure, she's doing a good deed, but not everyone will agree it was good! Plus, the first line has the word 'fear' in it :).

From Chapter 3, and contains certain spoilers for Chapters 1 & 2:

June’s heart beat so fast and hard she feared Harry would hear it. What she was doing was dicey, and her coven hadn’t exactly approved it. Her coven wouldn’t have approved anything that tossed one of their members into pack politics. But she’d realized, when the idea of losing him struck her like a pie in the face, she had to try anyway. And she had to do it immediately.

She wouldn’t let him be forced into the Millington pack. That wasn’t fair to anyone, much less Harry. He was perfect the way he was.

Nearly perfect. He had kind of a potty mouth.

“A problem?” His bushy brows arched. “I wouldn’t call it that. It’s this woman who wants me to come to a party. I RSVP’d no.”

“A pack bond ceremony, to be exact.” June let the cedar fall to her side. She couldn’t purify his property and hide their tracks while tiptoeing around her kind’s sacred covenant about keeping shifters in the dark. “I understand why the alpha wants you—” Did she ever! “—but most indies don’t make good packers.”

“Ububobu whu?” Harry stuttered.

“I can help you, but you have to swear on your pelt you’ll never tell anybody what I did.”

Quicker than she thought possible, considering he wasn’t pack, Harry invaded her personal space, grabbed her shoulders again and pinned her against her car.

“What do you know?”

She could barely make out the words through his growl. His whiskey-colored eyes sparked pale blue with the onset of the shift. His tousled hair glinted blue-black in the sun. Oh Goddess, his scent was wild and musky, his hands strong. Being this close to him when he was riled was much more erotic than she’d expected.

She always had to be careful about getting close to Harry. His senses were keen, and some of her secrets had to remain secret.

Like the fact he’d been right the first time he’d called her name. Well, not right—her real name was June—but she’d been wearing her Sandie camouflage for years. She’d considered keeping it after the encounter in the tea room, but it took too much power to maintain. She needed all the magic she could squeeze out of herself to help Harry, so all she’d kept was a minimum facade of humanity.

“I know enough,” she told him. Summoning a spike of power, she channeled it into the cedar and poked his stomach. He jumped back with a yelp as if he’d been stung, which technically he had.

“What the hell was that?” He jerked up his shirt to check, and she nearly whistled. Shifters were physically fit in two-legged form, yeah, but his abs were especially delicious. With her libido dampener forfeit like her Sandie mask, all that black, silky hair on his chest, trailing down his midriff, weakened her knees.

“Sorry. Cedar has sharp needles.” If she came out of this with Harry ignorant about magic, her coven might not go completely off on her. They’d still be furious, but the covenant would be intact and so would Harry.

Now she just needed to stuff an angry werewolf into a tiny car and transport him to safety before she ran out of juice—and before anybody figured out what she was doing.

***

Soon I hope to be able to share some cover art for you! I can't wait to see how it turns out with Carina's artists.
Jody W.
www.jodywallace.com  * www.meankitty.com

Find more great excerpts about fears here!

Megan Hart -- Read in bed!
Eliza Gayle
Rhian Cahill
Anne Rainey
Lissa Matthews
Mari Carr
McKenna Jeffries
Myla Jackson
Taige Crenshaw
Alison Kent
Delilah Devlin
HelenKay Dimon
Leah Braemel
Shelli Stevens
Shiloh Walker
TJ Michaels

Corn-Beef?

Overheard conversation at New Year's Day meal. Ages of children currently 10 and 5.

Kid2 (stares at corned beef and cabbage): I don't like this.
Kid1 (sounding exactly like her mother): You can't say that until you've tried it.
Kid2 (tries the beef): It's not very good. It's not juicy like a pig.
Kid1: Because it's not pig.
Kid2: Then what is it?
Kid1: Corn beef. I think it's a cow that was fed corn or something.
Meankitty (meowing): I want to try!
Me: NOBODY FEED THE CAT! (feeds the cat secretly under the table)

Sincerely,
JW and Meankitty
www.jodywallace.com * www.meankitty.com